My lonely heart can’t stop holding on to what could’ve been,there’s pain in my chest and tears in my eyes that cant seem to make their way down my bumpy face. I’m not really here you know, just kinda stuck in a fog. My stomach hurts and I’m tired, but I cant seem to sleep and I keep on eating all the things that make me feel worse. Why is it that every time I think Im free to go, you hear my thoughts how do you feel my grip loosening. I swear it seems like every time I think Im free to go!!

I do want you but this love is complicated, maybe you want me to, or maybe we’re just lying to each other for sake of comfort because obviously someones running and the other is chasing, its MADNESS I say MADNESS!! Why can’t you just love me deeper without condition? Why cant I just be more affectionate and caring? How can we work together when we are always back to back like day and night, like the sun chasing the moon or vise versa? Never fully coming together but always back to back, when we should really be face to face..chest to chest..palm to palm..lip to lip..our sacred conjoined.

I think you’re fuckin crazy and I hate the way you call me names when you get mad I feel so disrespected but I’m confused because sometimes I feel you love me. I know I should leave but you always call my name when I think Im free to go.

Yesterday on tv a lady said love is like annuals and perennials. Some loves only bloom for a season then die and others just go dormant after they bloom. Either way neither is wasted because the one that dies is returned to the earth and the one that goes dormant will return with new blossoms. I’m still trying to figure out if we’re an aster or a marigold. I guess we’ll find out one day.

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